A newly circumcised female will wear a headdress of small hanging shells. This symbolizes her passage into adulthood as either engaged or free to marry. Males may approach a family with gifts as a sign of interest. Some females are promised as babies to males, who continue to give a family gifts until [the girl's] circumcision.
After a dowry is agreed upon by the parents and the groom, the marriage may proceed.
The groom arrives at the bride's home with a male companion (best man) on the appointed day. He walks the bride to her new home. Her belongings are packed and she is colorfully decorated. in the traditional wedding apparel from head to toe.
As she exits the home, her father and a member of his age-set bless the marriage by spitting milk and honey onto the bride. The bride makes a slow passage away from her family home. It is [believed that the bride risks turning into stone if she looks back at this point].
Along the way, her new husband must make sure her journey goes as smooth as possible.
Upon arrival the new bride is teased by the other women of the household. Here, the bride will also receive cattle until she is satisfied. Cattle become the property of her husband.
The new bride will not share sexual relations with her husband for at least the first two days after her arrival.
As a symbol of being married, a woman will wear a blue cloth along with her other pieces of clothing.
A Maassai man is allowed as many wives as he can care for. He is the head of the household. However, he lives in a separate home from his wives and children.
I was asked three times two weeks ago whether I ever planned on getting married. I actually was scolded by the third person, who seemed upset over the fact that I am not yet married. While I must admit, I couldn't hide my embarrassment at this unbridled abatement of marriage, I still did feel happy though they looked at me and thought I'd be responsible enough to get married at my age.
As you probably guessed already, I am Cameroonian, which means polygamy is legal in my country. Culturally, marrying more than one wife depicts status in not just wealth, but other things. The fact that a man can handle the needs of more than one wife is admired greatly
among the traditionalists. In the modern world today, this is an abhorrent act of disrespect to the female gender and in most parts, people serve prison sentences for it.
The picture below is that of a Cameroonian man with his wives. If you go to his compound, there is a main house in which he lives and a string of houses that are built in a circular mode around the compound. These women have their own children in their homes with them and each woman has to cook for him everyday. He gets to taste everyone's food and women take it personal if he dares to say he is too full to eat all the food brought to him. He must taste it. No questions asked.
I usually wonder what it is like for him at night. Is there a schedule of whose turn it is to perform the nightly duties to satisfy their man sexually? But that is beside the point. I kinda feel the unity amongst the children is probably impecable as all children love their dads. But that doesn't mean they are not faced with their challenges.
My thoughts? Well, Marriage is the same whether it is to one woman or to more. The way I look at it, most married people cheat on their spouses anyways, so it is just like polygamy although the other partners don't know. But then, there are the faithful ones and that is where I come in. I like the idea of having just one person to love and cherish. It'd be sad to be laying in bed alone during winter season, knowing your spouse is next door warming up another lady.
But again, that is just what I think!
