...What is your greatest fear?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson, in her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles. Quoted by Nelson Mandela on the day of his inauguration in 1994 and also recently used in the movie, Coach Carter.

I will be a year older this September 6th, and to tell you frankly, I don't know whether the next year will be much different from the past two score and more years I have been on earth, and that tears me up. I don't know what to expect. Something I have wanted so bad in the past three or so years is soon going to become reality and I think I may not be ready yet! It sucks and I wonder whether I would have actually accomplished anything when this becomes reality.

I am afraid. Very afraid.
Fear what the world has in store for me.
More so confused.
The confusion you feel
when you simply can't understand why.
Why things are the way they are.
Why you do certain things.
Why you say those things.

I am afraid. Very Afraid

that I have many more obstacles

to overcome.

I am afraid

that I may be overwhelmed

And forced to pull over.

I am afraid. Very Afraid.

I am frustrated.
Frustration
because I have been patient enough
3 years and still no response.
6 years and still no major 'accomplishments'
I am disappointed.

Disappointed in myself
For the things I have done and said.
No wait, I feel responsible.
Accept responsibility
For the things I have said and done.
I hardly regret anything,
And carry with me lessons learnt.

I wait unerringly
For a chance to pass on the little I know
The unbridled yearning to start my own family
To be the solution
to all of my mother's problems
to all of my family's tribulations
I will work harder
And reach my target
I will not forget God.
I will pray
For guidance.
Cherish his love and mercy
Hope that I get there in time.